Who to look up to when things fall apart in life?

Who to look up to in testing times ?

Life is a roll-a-coaster journey with peaks and troughs that make it a thrilling experience.  Not to mention that had it been a smooth journey all through, its monotony would have bored us to an extent. The ups and downs of life make it exciting and worth relishing and at the same time, they make you realize the actual depth of each and every relationship.

Even in the hardest of times, couples are strong enough to face any situation together. They are like two wheels of a bicycle that runs at its best with both wheels intact. Both these wheels are equally significant to render a smooth ride. And if the pressure in any of them gets low, the ride gets difficult. That is when an external support (beyond the two) is needed to continue the journey of life.

Most of us expect our families to play that support for us and assume that what so ever be the situation at least our family will stand by us in our difficult times. And yes, in highest probability they do back us up. Not generalizing but just sharing my observation over last so many years, that usually the family (or the person) that supports you, backs you and gives you strength to withstand the difficult times is (from) your maternal family.

Trust me it is not a shallow statement, it is based on multiple true instances that I have myself witnessed, not just in one or two or three families, but in multiple families across regions and castes.

I have seen someone really close whose husband suffered some serious medical issues years ago. He was not in a position to take care of the family and their small kids, both financially and emotionally. 

The support was shared by no one else but "her" brothers. Where did the so-called family of the husband vanish? No clue!!! But her brothers helped her get out of the situation supporting in whatever best possible way they could. Of course, she herself also sacrificed a lot and took up the work she could to feed her family. It is worth a mention that had she not been offered a helping hand by her brothers, life would have been miserable.

When a couple is in need of someone who could stand by, it is mostly the girl's family and parents who come forward rather than boy’s family; even if it means dropping their work for days together to ensure that they their daughter and her family are not lonesome. Does it indicate that just the girl’s family is concerned about the couple’s well-being and boy’s family is least bothered, even if it relates directly to the boy?

In another recent instance a young lady who lost her husband in an accident, survived by two teenage daughters finally found relief just because "her" elder brother stood by her throughout. It is not that her husband's family and his brother were not capable to support her in the toughest of her time but they opted to stay at a distance. It was the same family she had been taking care of all the while her husband was with her. But today, when she needed them the most, they were nowhere to be seen…the only helping hand came from "her" own family.

Likewise, there are multiple such instances I have witnessed and experienced too where the husband's family easily shakes off their responsibility when in need, whereas they are the ones who claim to be your well-wishers till the time you are yourself strong enough to handle yourself and your family. The real agony here is that the husband's family is not even bothered about him as an individual; leave aside the wife and her kids. This actually prompts me to question the existence of that so-called family which vanishes when you need them.

Has anyone of you reading this blog ever experienced anything similar? If yes, then I am sure you would be able to relate to and connect with every bit of what's mentioned here.